Forgiving yourself is so hard, especially when it comes to losing a loved one. It’s easy to start blaming things, people and the events themselves. As you learned in “The Day We Lost Terri” she had to go to a dental appointment the morning of her death for a root canal. That was one major thing she dreaded in life. Yet, here she was, going to the appointment alone.
In this video on “forgiving yourself,” I share the things that were easy targets for blame for her death. One of the things was me! I blamed myself BIG TIME and played the “If only I would have just…” game in my head for many, many months, if not years.
Forgiving Yourself Is Quite Hard
I am not just talking about this unfortunate loss in our life. I am talking about MANY things in life. What things are you blaming yourself for? Does it haunt you? How does it impact risks you take in the future?
Living in a state of blame zaps a lot of your energy. You get eaten up by fear of loss, being vulnerable, constant anger or rage, continuous sadness or perhaps depression. You feel hurt.
If you continue to blame yourself you will always hold yourself back from becoming the person you are destined to become. You will halt any progress for growth. You will always hesitate and be fearful of taking steps to live a better life and influence those around you.
What things are you blaming yourself for? Is it something you actually did or is it made up in your head with a bunch of “what if” situations for which you have no control over? We all mess up sometimes. Other times we create the situation as if we had something to do with it.
Regardless of the reason for the blame, forgiving yourself is a process and is necessary. You need to accept yourself and recognize yourself for who you are.
Emotions will play heavily in this blame game. You will eventually need to accept that you are experiencing emotions like anger, fear, resentment, and vulnerability. It’s easy to try to avoid them, but you need to accept them in order to forgive yourself.
Different Ways Of Forgiving Yourself
Journaling, meditation and daily affirmations will help. Love yourself and give yourself permission to heal. Giving permission takes A LOT of practice. Get out with friends. Laugh more. Take trips. Create new experiences. This will help you build trust in yourself and confidence to take new risks and challenges. It will empower yourself while taking pressures off yourself to not take things so seriously.
You know, if it is something you did, it’s powerful to just be accountable and responsible by saying “I am not proud of what I did. I am forgiving myself for the sake of my health, well-being, and those around me. This may be a mantra to repeat for several days, weeks or even months when it comes to totally forgiving yourself.
In my case I needed to tell the BS story in my head, “It wasn’t your fault. Accidents happen. You could not have predicted an event like this would happen. If Terri wanted you to take her, she would have asked just like she had done in the past. You told her you love her. No regrets. Celebrate her amazing life. Continue her legacy.”
Forgiving yourself is so hard, but you need to forgive, to live!
Here’s To Your Health – It’s Never Too Late
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